Daisy
Posts:3
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| 12/07/2009 11:18 AM |
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My boyfriend of a year and a half just recently decided that he needed "space". So we broke up. We are not to have any form of communication for 4 months. Then we'll meet and talk. I've read some columns about how this is a typical "thing" for guys. But I can't help to feel hurt. We are already in a long distance relationship (I live in Florida and he lives in Georgia) and hardly see each other as it is. He says he still loves me, but I don't understand why it would take him actually breaking up with me to have "his time to think". I'm giving him his space, out of respect, but I'm truly hurt by this situation. I can't help feeling that he may want to see other people guilt-free (hence the break-up) and that I'm his plan "B" if all goes sour. I just don't know what to think. Is this really a "typical guy thing"?
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Lizzy
Posts:1
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| 12/09/2009 6:59 PM |
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Its really important to understand that guys are sooo much different to girls. I went through the same thing with my boyfriend. Guys internalize and think things through longer than us girls. And hearing from my boyfriend that he cant be in a relationship and figure himself out at the same time was hard..but after he explained it it made sense. This is what he said: " When we are dating..i cant stop thinking of you...and it doesnt allow space for other things in my mind...(corny I know..but keep reading) I make all my decisions based on how it would affect you and us...and dont think on how it would affect me. " I don't know if you understand what he was trying to say. But it opened my eyes to the fact that when a guy is in a relationship that he really cares about...but still doesn't feel like he has worked himself out and found himself yet..he cant give you all that he wants to. And by taking this "timeout" he needs to find himself again for him to completely commit to you for long term. He needs to be whole (make decisions that would affect him..like choosing to change bad habits) and then he can have the brain space to think about you and your relationship. Not sure if that helps.
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Daisy
Posts:3
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| 12/10/2009 12:26 AM |
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| Thank you Lizzy, you won't believe how much that helped & it was sent at a truly Divine moment (you wouldn't believe how perfect the timing was!). My fears & I guess insecurities has settled. & I understand this whole "space" thing a bit more. I think I was only seeing it from my point of view & not so much his (oops). Thanks again for the insight! God Bless |
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