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ryonn
Posts:15
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| 07/06/2008 6:46 AM |
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Hi there, Jeff & Shaunti, admin, mods, people in this forum,
I have read your books:
For Young Women Only -- Done
For Men Only -- Halfway.. Chapter 7 atm.
But before I proceed, I'd like to introduce myself.
I am a male.. a man since I'm now 25 years old. (and not gay)
I'm always interested in all things that relates to relationship.
And I also have done some researches about this to myself.
Hereby, I'd like to point out one thing that I have found mentioned by you in For Young Women Only.
I'm kinda surprised that you include the story about Eye Magnet Woman and Men's Eyes in your book. I am like.. "Haha.. you surveyed that too?"
It's about Men's Eyes to the "ALERT! Pretty Woman's spotted" thing.
My research is actually simple.
I was like.. I promised myself not to see any women whenever I'm walking on the street. This includes taking a peek through the reflection at the mirror. Heh.
When I say about 'not to see any women' is.. I am throwing my face away from the woman on the street. So if she is walking to my right, then I have to 'order' my head and eyes to see to the left.
This has been done 4 years.
And the result is.. it is a success. Yes.. successfully FAILED!
Thus, I conclude 2 things:
1. Man's eyes are designed to be interested or magnetized by women. No matter what! As long as the man is not interested in other man.
2. I am not gay. (Haha)
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ryonn
Posts:15
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| 07/06/2008 7:01 AM |
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As I have stated above, I'm interested about relationship between man and woman. So interested that I also did the following research.
What does it feel to be a woman?
Well, the book clearly states that man is interested in sex. Hah.
As embarassing as it is, I have to admit that too. (At least I am being honest here  )
Of course, there is no way I can change my gender from male to be female in real life without doing any medical operation and that hi-medical-tech thing.
But there is a way to experience woman's life as a male, that is... Internet.
1. This thing is called mIRC, and became so famous years ago before the MSN age.
10 years ago (while I was still in senior high school at age 15 I guess) I logged in to mIRC using a really cute female name that I have found by myself. It is so unique that I bet you havent heard this kind of name before. What is it? I cannot tell you  Haha.
Anyway, after logged in with womanly name, I joined a huge channel.
It's so surprising that in less than 10 seconds after I've joined, 4 males have opened a private chatting window to me.
- Asking 'hi'
- Asking 'I want to know you
- Asking inappropriate thing (err.. something sexual.. Males!  )
- And... sharing his private love <-- I did feel guilty for this person
And after 5 minutes, I said bye bye to all of those males and logged out.
Afterward, I logged in using a manly name and entered the same channel.
Guess what? No Private chatting channel comes. So quiet, it feels like I was in a graveyard.
2. Just another short term research.
The survey takers are my friends and myself with this one and only question:
"How many telephone call do you receive in a week?"
Males
-> Less than 3. And mostly 0.
Females
-> A lot. (And mostly from males.)
Thus from these 2 cases alone, I conclude that
- Women never feel alone
- Men are used to feel lonely
But after I read For Men Only, I now decide that I was wrong.
Women feel lonely when there is no one who love her (yet).
The correct conclusion should be:
- Women always have someone to talk to everytime (during the week).
- Men might not have someone to talk to.
Thanks Jeff and Shaunti for fixing my conclusion.
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ryonn
Posts:15
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| 07/06/2008 7:12 AM |
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Still interested in experiencing woman's life, I played this online gaming using a female character.
As I have played this game before in another country, my rank quickly rise up to be in the top 3 best character in this newly made game. In fact, I was like the best female character in this game. I was so famous that lots of people asked me about things in the game to me.
However, people still dont know that I am actually a male.
Everytime they ask about my real name, I always find a way to avoid that question. Dunno how.
At this moment, I feel like.. "Hey living as a woman seems nice"
But things happen:
1. There as usual I kill monsters to level my lovely girl up. Suddenly this male came to me and help me kill things, making my life easier.
2. On top of that this male also gives me great and rare items for free, without me asking for it.
3. There I stand in the town, chatting to my guild mates. My character was a healer wearing a robe with the thighs 'displayed' to the screen. And this new male player suddenly shouts, "Wow! Nice leg!" Shocked and embarassed, I quickly pressed a button to sit, covering my thighs from the world. And then I'm thinking... "Why did I pressed the Sit button?"
Conclusion:
1. Free items for female!! No.. not that point. The point is men do want and perhaps designed to wanting to help woman. And this applies everywhere, even in virtual world. Even is they dont know the woman yet.
2. Perhaps it is not a good thing to loudly shout "Nice leg" or "Nice " to women. It is rude, guys. Even I'm still feeling this although it happened 4 years ago. |
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ryonn
Posts:15
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| 07/06/2008 7:14 AM |
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That's all I can remember up until now.
Perhaps there are things that is interesting to you from what I have done.
Feel free to use that to the world.
Also:
Feel free to comment.
I would be very glad if Jeff and Shaunti could provide some comments as well.  |
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ryonn
Posts:15
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| 07/06/2008 7:39 AM |
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2. Perhaps it is not a good thing to loudly shout "Nice leg" or "Nice " to women. It is rude, guys. Even I'm still feeling this although it happened 4 years ago.
2. Perhaps it is not a good thing to loudly shout "Nice leg" or "Nice (insert any physical attractive thing here)" to women. It is rude, guys. Even I'm still feeling this although it happened 4 years ago. |
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 07/08/2008 6:47 PM |
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You crack me up, Ryonn.
You might want to re-read the books, though. What you just said is actually the POINT!
Men can't NOT notice an attractive woman with a great body (lots of unhappy emails from ladies on that one, btw). It's how they're wired. No clue if they're that way because God created them that way, or if it's because of the fall, but they're definitely THAT WAY. <----- pretend this is your wife hearing this for the first time!
So, you're right - it makes total sense that your efforts failed, because you can't NOT look at good-looking women.
The idea is to learn how to, as the Bible states in different wording, "take every thought captive and tear it down." You're going to notice those women, you're going to have that thought in your mind (the mental rolodex analogy), and men don't have a choice about that.
They DO have a choice about how to handle that.
I'm not a guy, but I've had a looooooooot of experience with those two books working for Shaunti, so I'm just trying to clear up what Shaunti was trying to say.
Maybe you should buy a pair of sunglasses and tape pictures of Jesus on the insides. Maybe that would help? Ha ha J/K
Julie
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Forum Moderator
Project Specialist for Shaunti Feldhahn |
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ryonn
Posts:15
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| 07/29/2008 4:59 PM |
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Forbidding men to take a look at the 'great bodies' of female is like forbidding you to reply this message. J/K
No.. it is just their nature.
It is just like telling women to not thinking about their problems in 10 seconds. Have a blank mind there.. if you can.
About this case, I am now proud of it.
Dont blame men for admiring them.
That's what's attractive from women from the physical point of view.
Do women prefer men to be interested to other men bodies?
Do women prefer men to ignore women on the street?
If that's the case, then women should stop doing the makeup, weight loss program, facial treatment and such.
In short, the eyes of men, are made by God.
Of course, with great power, comes great responsibility.
We, as men, are responsible to take care of ourselves.
Taking care of our mind.. controlling it.
I cant stop those women with great bodies from walking on the street.
I cant stop my eyes to look at them.
But I can stop my mind from you-know-what-and-i-m-not-going-to-mention-here-you-guess-it-yourself-haha.
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 07/31/2008 8:02 PM |
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Yup, all that is true.
But men are not complete animals. They do have the ability to tear those thoughts down and turn their minds back to the Lord. If that weren't the case, the Bible would not say it was possible!
-Julie
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Forum Moderator
Project Specialist for Shaunti Feldhahn |
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judydiana
Posts:3
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| 08/22/2008 7:24 PM |
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I think that men are drawn to notice women in this way as a result of the fall, and not because God 'made' them this way. Why on earth would God deliberately make men to stare at and potentially lust after other women? He wouldnt be that mean. I am a woman and I also notice attractive women, but for a different reason from men(obviously).
I have a Godly husband, who, when seeing a women who is maybe attractive and/or is dressed in an immodest way, will glance away immediatly and wont allow himself to stare at her. Yes, we all notice attractive people, but we dont have to look for more than a second. we can train ourselves to do this as he has. I love him for it, and if men do stare, I think that is extreemly disrespectful to their wives.
Problem is, this occurs even in our church here in the uk, where women, especially the more physically attractive ones, dress in revealing clothes, and I feel that the church should be a haven for men and women not to have to cope with what is all around them in the world, but it isnt, and that is sad because the Bible is clear on this. |
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 08/23/2008 9:52 PM |
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I think it's also possible that God created men to notice, but the presence of sin perverted that instinct.
My $0.02!
Julie
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Project Specialist for Shaunti Feldhahn |
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Wendy
Posts:1
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| 09/03/2008 3:33 PM |
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| I believe God DID create men this way, as part of His plan for creating marriage & families. I believe they were created to be attracted to the opposite sex, wired so that their eyes are drawn. There is nothing sinful in that, or disrespectful. As Julie says, the key is that they make the CHOICE NOT to dwell/focus on the women or the thoughts. THAT is where sin & the fall come in. THAT is why they must work to "take every thought captive". It is the dwelling that leads to sin. |
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brian jones
Posts:1
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| 09/04/2008 9:30 AM |
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To be sure, Wendy...God made us men that way as we see in Genesis 2:9...after placing Adam in the Garden he made the trees of the field with two primary facets...they were PLEASANT to the SIGHT, and good for food. God saw the nature of the being he made and gave him food for both body and soul. No one doubts that we are spirit , soul & body. Our body needed food for survival, which we know can be overemphasized to our hurt. The same way we need emotional satisfaction (soul) in this case it was called 'PLEASANT TO THE SIGHT' ...and this clearly predates the fall into sin in chapter 3, no?
The Fall surely perverted our appetites (or potentially does if we yield)
but I will tell you it is time women stop blaming the Fall for the fact that mankind is visually stimulated . It doesnt wash.
I will tell you also that if a man doesnt have a partner who is PLEASANT in this way -OR attempts to do so in a reasonable manner as FWO details for us- the only alternative over time is the PLEASURES of sin for a season (Heb 11:25) and all the sad fallout that comes with it.
Think how a woman is treated when she is ignored by her husband (long term) and ends up finding emotional (soul) sustenance from another man, ending in an affair &etc. People will explain it away,to a point, in saying her needs went unmet and since ' nature abhors a vacuum' so to speak, someone else will come along and do it for her.
OUR POINT EXACTLY!
Adultery ,literal or virtual, is SIN. Got it? No excuses here. But Every Man's Battle goes a lot better when your own spouse stops collaborating with the enemy!...
PS ...Shaunti's book (FWO) hits the nail on the head so many ways to Sunday it makes the other 'Marriage gurus' look like pretenders!The set would make ideal wedding gifts.
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 09/04/2008 12:12 PM |
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Eh, I'm not ready to say for sure that God "made" men that way. I think either or is possible.
But again, it's not the fact that they notice that's a sin, it's when they dwell on it over and over agqain for pleasure that it becomes a sin.
I often wonder if God created women to shop, or if that's just a bad excuse for me to use. :-) |
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Forum Moderator
Project Specialist for Shaunti Feldhahn |
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mitchikoi
Posts:8
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| 10/01/2008 8:19 PM |
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| I think some women also experience these things ryonn... were just human you know.. hahah ;-) besides men are naturally born with a lazer eyes... hahah.. i can understand them especially upon reading FWO.. men should not be criticized just like that.. i value their opinion whenever they say how attractive a woman is..its a tip from them that we should somehow, learn from it & apply it to our life..i think they deserve a big hug from us women.. yah know, men always want to feel loved... and respected.. ;-) |
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" We can be happy anytime once we understand that the only place we'll ever find genuine happiness....is right inside us. Happiness begins at the point of acceptance: the point when we stop questioning why life can't be perfect and just accept the world the way it is.."  |
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NMLs
Posts:4
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| 10/09/2008 3:58 AM |
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I know as a man, I have little to no control over the magnet eyes. But, you can't assume what he's thinking. Chances are, he's thinking a LOT less than you think he is.
Sometimes, it's just noticing a human being. Looking is one thing, leering is another.
It's like salivating when food is around. Little control over it, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you're hungry, or have any desire to eat what you see, or take any further action. It's just a reaction. And if you could tell yourself to stop, you would. I bet you're salivating right now! Stop that!
Besides, women do it too. They're just sneakier about it. (Yes, you've been busted, but I won't mind.)
But try to look at it this way, if it weren't for the magnetic eyes, we would have never found you. And if they could be turned off completely, I believe that most would. |
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flashbeaver
Posts:0
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| 03/13/2009 9:37 AM |
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I've got something that relates here.
When I was in high school one of my class mates came up to me after school and related this story.
"I was at a track meet and saw this most beautiful girl. Perfect body, perfect face, perfect teeth, everything about her was stunning. So I went up to her and introduced my self to her. As she began to talk to me she became more and more ugly. About every other word that she spoke out of her mouth was a swear word. It's wierd, how can a woman be so beautiful but turn so ugly?"
I've always remembered this story. As a result of this story, and other changes in my life, the magnet in my eyes for women has changed considerably. I can honestly say that the Lord has changed my eyes to eyes that do not wander. Eyes that do not have to look twice. Eyes that are only turned on by looking at my own bride. I am serious. I never thought it possible either.
If you think I'm crazy e-mail me! |
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ryonn
Posts:15
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| 04/24/2009 6:34 AM |
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It would be great if you could do it, flash.
You might be in the minor group of men who are able to shut down the 'eye magnet' system.
I'm still trying to find the button here. |
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Byron
Posts:0
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| 04/27/2009 6:09 PM |
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| The "button" is "take every thought captive into the obediance of Jesus Christ" |
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Tiffany
Posts:29
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| 04/30/2009 10:26 AM |
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My husband seems to be trying very hard to not notice other women. He's trying so hard that he won't even look at me. I've even changed my wardrobe & am wearing better fitting clothes & racier underware to get him to notice me. I'm hoping that eventually he'll feel that he has accomplished the "don't look at other women" part so that he can relax with the "don't look" thought pattern & see me.
Has anyone dealt with this? |
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Angie
Posts:6
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| 08/23/2009 6:48 PM |
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| My husband takes a quick look at other women in front of me - he even turns he head to have a really good look. He'll say, "wow that's a short skirt", or whatever. I'll say, "yes, it is". Or he might see a woman with very big breasts, not say anything at all (except for the eye popping), and later comment on how big they were. It all seems fairly normal to me because he's a man and he's been wired that way. When he notices a really attractive woman he will often tell me just how attractive he finds her (there are lots of attractive women out there) and I will ask him for specifics. As women, we think it is all about "t****" and "a**" but it's not. He will say something like "It's the way she carries herself", or "She dresses in a really classy way", or "she has a great smile". I take on his comments as clues to what he finds attractive and try to improve myself to his taste. It's not always the woman with the biggest breats or shortest skirt, or racy underwear, that he finds attractive. I respect him for his good taste and am proud he chose me. He also tells me when I look good, would never let me leave the house looking terrible, and always looks a bit worried when other men notice me too! He helps me to present myself in a way that demands respect from other men (because as a man he happens to know exactly what that is!). |
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